


Best Wishes

by Point_of_no_return



Series: Sex Bloopers [19]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Best Friends, F/F, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Toys, Wedding Gifts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 15:13:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21430279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Point_of_no_return/pseuds/Point_of_no_return
Summary: David gives Stevie a vibrator for being his "best human" in his wedding. Stevie can't wait to try it out and finds she got more than she bargained for.😏
Series: Sex Bloopers [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1423777
Comments: 7
Kudos: 53





	Best Wishes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InEveryUniverse_SC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InEveryUniverse_SC/gifts).

> Thank you to **Dawnsearlylight** for being my beta on this one and to the ladies at Rose Apothecary for helping to inspire me to finish this fun blooper. Every woman needs a little purple puppy in their lives. 

_“To my ‘Best Human’,_  
_Thank you for everything. I could not have survived this without you and by now you obviously know it. You took such effortless care of me that I wanted to return the favor. Best friend, you’ve earned yourself a ‘selfish’. Please enjoy._  
_\- David “_

It had been a few days after the wedding and she could still see the box sitting on her table at the apartment. She’d made a bet with herself on what is possibly could be, but the ‘please enjoy’ part was quite intriguing. By the time Friday rolled around, Stevie finally opened the package. A black, glossy box was revealed with the top saying ‘Tracy’s Dog’ over the center of it. What the fuck?

She opened the box to see in careful packaging, a deep purple, slightly v-shaped plastic item. Upon further inspection, she realized very quickly, this was some special line of vibrator. A vibrator. “He got me a vibrator,” Stevie said sarcastically, in total disbelief. Stevie was stunned, but also not stunned. It seemed very on brand for David to give something like this to his best friend and original partner in crime. They would just never, ever, in a million years, be able to talk about this gift. It was her secret to keep and she knew David would never mention it. David was a little shit sometimes, but he knew when to keep his mouth shut.

It was 9:53 am and she needed to get to the motel, but she plugged in the vibrator and headed off, knowing when she returned she’d have a glass of Merlot, the wine being one of the presents from Patrick, and a night in with her new toy. _This better feel as good as it looks, Rose._ She thought.

All day at the motel, Stevie couldn’t get her mind off of the new toy and even researched while she had some down time, which was basically all of the time. She began to read aloud as she was looking over the website. “Wow, so this..._thing_ David bought me is not only a clit stimulator, but it vibrates at the G spot. Where has this been my entire life? Ten SUCTION and VIBRATION patterns to choose from. Holy shit fuck!!” Just then the door opened and Roland strolled in to drop off the keys for the rooms he had cleaned that day. Having sensed he came back to the office at the wrong time, in Roland fashion, he stuck around for a while on the couch talking to Stevie about toilets and windows and literally any other unappetizing thing. Roland was always good for that. Stevie had been steadily getting aroused, but when Roland entered the room, it was as if the air had been sucked out of the room.

As it rounded three o’clock and Roland finally left the office, Stevie couldn’t take it anymore, she needed to race home and get busy with this “Tracy’s Dog”, which if the sex toy proves its worth, will be called “_Stevie’s Dog_.” She was getting ahead of herself.

Stevie was recently given a silky sleep cami and silk, lace boy shorts Alexis bought for her from Julianna Rae. It was Alexis’ way to show her gratitude in helping to plan David and Patrick’s wedding in Schitt’s Creek while she was in the Galapagos. Apparently the Roses, including the new Patrick Rose, somehow collectively contributed in spicing Stevie’s sex life up a bit.

Stevie slipped into the Moonlight Serenade silk camisole and shorts, brought the bottle of merlot to the bed, since, fuck it, it was her bottle to down anyway, and placed it on the night stand. After getting all of the pillows the way she wanted them in order to have her solo time in her bed, Stevie was ready to start her sex video on the phone to get her inspired. Then she readied the little bottle of ‘Tracy’s Dog’ lube that came complementary with the toy. Thoughtful of the sex toy distributor to include the high-end silicone-based lube.

Relishing in the silk feeling of the droplets of lube that hit her fingers, she rubbed them back and forth a little, feeling how smooth it felt to the touch. _Goddamn._

After taking the toy away of being charged, she dripped some of the lube to her fingers and then to the g-spot part of the vibrator, clicking the little button to start the vibration and placing it to her inner thigh, just to get a sense of how it felt to her sensitive skin. Stevie let out a sigh, the feeling just a bit over the top just on her thigh. Stevie scrambled for a towel, knowing this could get messy. Fast. If not fully prepared.

She placed a soft, terry cloth towel under her hips and extended the cloth to her mid hamstring, allowing her legs to fall open, feeling the cool air as it breezed her sensitive and awaiting clit. Stevie leaned back against the propped up pillows and angled her toy with the proper amount of lube slowly over her eager pussy, ghosting the vibrating toy over her clit, but not touching herself, just making her lose her mind with anticipation. She moved the toy along the flesh of her inner thigh, feeling that electric feeling pulsate from her knees up to the middle of her spine. She moved the toy back and forth along her sensitive thighs, alternating from one thigh to the other until she was ready to feel it in more sensitive areas.

Relaxing a bit more, Stevie slid the g-spot part of the toy to her clit and just lightly, ever so lightly, increased the vibration. She felt her toes curl against the sheets and her back arch unexpectedly with the vibration hitting the sweet spot on her clit.

As she got herself satisfactorily, naturally wet, she slipped the vibrator in and...ohhhhh...that vibration felt like a slight buzzing to her welcoming g-spot. It wasn’t enough. She increased another couple of notches and then started the sucking part to her begging clit. Stevie angled the toy just a little to aim at that delicious sweet spot inside of her. She rocked the vibrator over and over against the inside of herself, trying different angles to feel different sensations. So far, there was nothing this Tracy’s Dog couldn’t do. She tried to relax against the pillows again and drown in the feeling of silicone bliss.

Suddenly, her slicked, lubed-up fingers pushed the vibration counter from 3 to 10 and the suction to her clit to a full 10 as well. Her legs jolted forward in front, involuntarily, and as she tried to get the top to stop, she came vaginally, squirted, came again, and blacked out within 5-10 seconds of each occurrence. With absolutely nothing she could do, she gave in to total unconsciousness.

Stevie came back to life and realized the towel she was on had a wide area that was crunchy and hard. Whatever had happened, happened a while ago and it was an explosion. Stevie grabbed the large glass of water from her night stand and swallowed all of it, attempting to replace the liquids lost from her body and from what she could tell, she had sweat a lot at the same time as releasing her pent-up arousal. “Fucking shit, David,” Stevie shouted, though it wasn’t really David’s fault she had slippery fingers. It was all coming back to her now. The toy, the intense orgasm. It just took a little time to regain composure.

That’s when it hit her. How much time had she been knocked out and what kind of fucked up, incredible vibrator could make someone black out? Reaching for her phone she noticed several missed calls. It was Johnny and surely the time was wrong it had to be. How could it already be 7pm? Had Stevie really been knocked out for almost 4 hours? No way. _No way. _

The phone rang again and again, it was Johnny. “Huh...hello, Hello, Mr. Rose?” Stevie said frantically.

“Oh! Stevie! Oh good news! We were so worried! We had a bit of an emergency here at the motel. Oh, but we figured it out, I was just so worried when we couldn’t reach you. Are you alright?”

Building with embarrassment, she answered, “Oh, yes, sorry Mr. Rose. I didn’t mean to worry you. So, everything is okay? Do- do you need me to come back to the motel or…”

“Oh, no, Stevie, this was just a concerned phone call making sure you’re okay. See you tomorrow then. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Mr. Rose.” Stevie hung up the phone and realized she was still sitting in her lingerie. Phone in one hand, vibrator in the other still, and still vibrating, she was coming back to herself and realized she needed to move. Unfortunately, her legs wouldn’t function so the shuffling she did out of the bed proved futile. The right leg that stepped to the floor was wobbly and she had to brace herself against the wall. She flopped back on the bed and massaged the feeling back into her legs so she could get to the kitchen and fix herself something to eat and get more water. Her body felt like that of a malnourished man in the middle of the dessert. She had to get nutrients back into her system so she could be a functioning adult the next day.

The first thing Stevie did when she had enough to eat was shoot a text to David.

**-So I tried the gift you gave me.**

It didn’t take long for Stevie to see the three little dots coming back.

_-And?_

**-Where did you find this thing?**

_-I do my research. So...what did you think?_

**-You mean after I regained consciousness? Yeah, I guess it was okay.**

_-You’re welcome._

\- 🖕🏼

-_Best Wishes_

-**Warmest regards**  
  


The vibrator was deliciously evil and Stevie thought she may not ever have a normal orgasm again once she got the hang of all of the different ways she could attain climax with the water-proof sex toy sent from heaven.

Stevie would spend the next month and a half hidden away in her apartment after work each day with her bottles of merlot, Stevie’s Dog, and her daily pornhub videos. It was a good plan until David finally had enough post wedding sex with Patrick and needed to come up for air. He sought out his best friend to have their regular toke sessions and nearly had to pull an intervention against Stevie who couldn’t pry herself away from quite possibly the best gift anyone could ever give to their best friend. Though they hardly talked about it, Stevie would always be grateful for her “purple puppy.” “Man’s best friend” quickly turned into “woman’s best friend.”


End file.
